It’s OK to lose, as long as you win.

In the society we live in, a lot of attention goes to those who win or succeed. If you lose, it’s looked on as bad or shameful. How often, though, do we see the big stories of the winners or the successful and think “how long did they lose until they finally won?” The thing that’s easy to forget is that most of those winners or successful people experienced a fair amount of hard times, failures, and loss before they got the big win.

So we are in our own lives. We have to remember when we are in those hard times, those losing times, that we have to learn from it. Maybe today isn’t our day. But if we learn from our losses, our hard times, our mistakes today, we can very well change things tomorrow that will lead to that win, that success, that thing we’re striving for.

It’s OK to lose, but learn from it so you can turn those mistakes into success. It’s OK to lose as long as you stick with it and win!

Lack of focus = lots of frustration

I’ve met with a number of people lately that are frustrated with the way their careers are heading. They’re frustrated with not getting promoted, or what they have to do every day at work, or why someone else is getting a better job instead of them.

One of my friends I spoke with was particularly frustrated, feeling any effort he’d given in his job wasn’t recognized and, therefore, didn’t lead to any recent promotion.
When I asked him what he really wanted to do for work, he didn’t know. He didn’t know exactly where he wanted to get to. Without that focus, he was just frustrated because everyone else seemED to be moving ahead.

I’ve recently gained more focus in different avenues of my life and, although I haven’t reached some of those goals yet, I actually know what I want to get to and that focus has helped me remove a lot of frustration. Once there’s a focus, you can be comfortable with yourself and your goals, because you know what you ultimately want to achieve.

Focus and watch your frustration fade.

But there’s nothing there to stop me!

If you want to succeed, don’t be afraid to take some spills once in a while. It’s the only way you’ll learn and the only way you’ll find success.

The fear of succes is a very real thing and a young man opened my eyes to this a few weeks ago. It was his first ski trip and I got to help him learn how. He and I worked together for over an hour to get him down the bunny hill. I’ve helped others learn how to ski and the experience is similar each time – frustration, awkwardness, and sometimes tears before they finally start to get it. This young man had all of the above and then some. When I could finally see that he did not want to go down the hill, but across it or even back up it, I said “everything I’m trying to help you learn will only work if we point the skiis down the hill.” His response was what has stuck in my head for the weeks since. He said “but there’s nothing down there to stop me!”

He had a point. Although I wanted to say “no, there’s that guy and that pole and that tree and those cars”, at that moment, he wouldn’t have laughed.

How often do we do this to ourselves when we are trying to accomplish something, but we’re afraid of actually succeeding? He had a pretty real fear. He didn’t want to get hurt, but that fear was keeping him from actually succeeding. The good news for this young man is that later on he figured it out, overcame the fear and didn’t want to stop when it was time to go home.

Don’t be afraid to take some spills on your way to success. Anyone that succeeds at anything has to.

You aren’t meant to be a failure

Part of life is messing up, failing, and being disappointed something didn’t go the way you hoped. How’s that for a chipper thought? But going through those things doesn’t mean you are a failure. That’s up to you. Failure is an attitude. So is success.

It’s been said that successful people fail more than others, but they succeed because they keep trying. I’ve seen that happen. I’ve seen people be at low points in their life, whether it be financially, spiritually, socially, or all of the above. A number of things get them through, but the common denominator is they keep moving. They keep trying. They learn from mistakes and avoid them in the future. We all make mistakes and we need to get over the thought that making a mistake is what bad people do. Making mistakes is what all people do. What matters is how you recover from those mistakes.

To get through the next mistake, think on the following:

1. What can I do to make up for it?
2. What can I do to turn it into a learning experience?
3. What can I do so it doesn’t happen again?
4. What can I do to put a smile back on my face?
5. What can I do to succeed next time?

You’ve got to be able to swallow some pride to face these questions, but they will help get you on track again. Remember that failure is an attitude and so is success.

Gratitude influences attitude

Something great happens when you sincerely tell someone “thanks”. It makes you both feel good. It makes you both appreciate the other a little more. It makes you want to be a little better to that person in the future. Gratitude literally influences our attitude.

I had a scout bring me a pie one time to say thanks to me for helping out with scout camp. It was a good pie, but I was more impressed with the fact that he took the time (I’m sure with some help from a good Mom) to say thanks, especially since I wasn’t expecting it. He really meant it and I’ll always have a respect for him for that.

Think about that on a bigger level. Thanking your spouse, your kids, your parents, neighbors, and coworkers all has huge benefits to all involved. And if you think about it very much, there are plenty of things to thank them for. It doesn’t have to be with a pie or anything other object, but if it’s sincere you’ll both know it and reap the benefits from it.

It’s hard to be upset or in a bad mood when you’re in the middle of giving or receiving “thanks”, even if it’s small.

Remember to say “thanks”. It changes things for the better.